Worries

As you go along in the pregnancy you are going to have some worries or moments wear fear sets in. Yesterday my wife woke up having a strange feeling that she needed to call the doctor. This was mainly brought on by the fact that we really had not felt the baby move all weekend. It was a busy weekend so we didn’t think much of it. Perhaps she was just quiet due to sleeping through all the moving my wife was doing. Come Sunday night we were trying to feel her and she was not moving for us and to add on to it my wife was having contractions throughout the night. There was nothing serious in the contractions but it made for a long night and worry was starting to set in. When worry sets in your mind will start racing through who knows what. Most of it is probably not good. In the morning my wife called the hospital and they told us to come in and check everything out. At that point my wife is starting to panic and the fear grows. Thankfully we get to the hospital and they hook up the monitors and the wonderful sound of our baby’s heartbeat was sounding loud and strong. After going through all the tests and monitoring the baby’s heartbeat and movements. The nurse started to explain the reasoning behind our baby not moving much. She stated that with the baby now into the head down position her movements are not going to be as great and that your body has actually adjusted to the movements more so you are not going to feel them like you did before. Well we just sat there and listen to her and just felt stupid. You know one of those DUH! Moments, but in our defiance we weren’t sure and we wanted to be safe than sorry. So I tell you, it’s better to look like or feel like an idiot when your baby’s life may be at risk than to assume nothing is wrong and then something goes wrong. We were worried that something major was wrong and when I heard her heart beat I felt instant relief that the worst was false and that from that point whatever it may be, something can be done to help her. I don’t think anyone can go through a pregnancy now days without having some worry, just keep faith and always pray that things will work out the way God intends. We were very grateful for the nurse who helped us out. She was caring and understood our fears and concerns. Fathers, be strong during this time. It’s okay to show emotion and concern. The fears you have are a hundred times less worrisome then what your wife fears. She will look to you for help and comfort. Keep strong.  The road is always bumpy, but it’s a great journey.

Comforting your wife

Gentlemen, this is a great time right? Your wife is pregnant with child you’re getting ready for the big day, what could be better? Well…. You may be enjoying this great time, but your wife? That may be a different story. She is going through a lot right now; now don’t get me wrong I’m sure she is very excited. Though her body has gone through a lot of changes and she is probably not feeling so hot. To me I think my wife looks great. Why, because she is pregnant and I married a beautiful woman. She is tall and the nice round bump she has makes her look great. Those people out there who look at pregnant women and think that they are fat or ugly are no help, they need to be taken out back and set straight. This is the time to be positive and very supportive. Guys your wife is married to you. That’s right. Maybe for some odd reason she married you. That means she trusts you and looks to you for support. This is the time for you to be there helping anyway that you can. Do not argue or murmur, if she needs something get it for her. If she wants her feet rubbed grab some lotion and start rubbing. You can do the dishes, cook, clean, or even do the laundry. If for some odd reason you don’t know how to do any of those, then now is the time to learn. You need to make this as easy and relaxing as possible for her right now. She has sacrificed her body to be pregnant with your child and though your “BIG” part may be done, you still need to help out. My wife loves it when I rub her feet every night. With her still working she comes home with her feet hurting and swollen so I step up and rub her feet. Do something to help her feel relaxed. This will be a tremendous help for her and for you. Enjoy this time together and keep communicating.

The Beginning

Thoughts on fatherhood are something I am starting, because I am becoming a father. My wife is pregnant with our first child. We are having a girl and I am very excited to be a dad. As my wife would say I have waited a long, long, long time for this. I will be posting advice and opinions in my experience before birth, after, and even beyond with having more than one child in the family.

To give you a little background, I and my wife have been married for almost 4 years. This will be our first child and we have been trying for a while. When we first decided to have children we had been a year into our marriage. We wanted to wait a little bit and get to know each other better and enjoy some “alone” time in our younger years. Then we made the decision to start trying. As time went on we were having no luck. Now my wife has a condition called PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) which can make it hard to get pregnant. We started going through the process of seeing a doctor and my wife was put on various types of drugs to help “kick start” her body into have periods regularly and ovulating. As the months went on we were still having no luck. Then we were blessed and the stick said “positive”. We were stoked, our prayers were answered, and the road to being a father had begun. As time went on we started preparing for parenting and thinking of names. We were doing the normal thing to do when expecting. Then sadness hit. We went in at 12 weeks to get our first ultra sound. When the picture came up, there was nothing. All we saw was a big black area, were a baby was suppose to be. Seeing that emptiness is nothing I would wish on anyone, it was a real low time in my life. As we went through the process of a miscarriage, the major thing I learned from that was that many women have miscarriages. We came to understand that this is a common thing. It’s not something that comes up in conversations everyday but it is common. Now it’s not something you want to go through but sometimes your body just doesn’t understand yet what is going on.

We didn’t give up though; we got back into the swing of things and kept trying. Now men, one thing that will help you in communications with your wife is to be positive after a miscarriage. There were many times when my wife felt like we weren’t going to get pregnant. You have to be strong, and be positive for your wife. It was a big help for her knowing that it was not over and that we will get pregnant again. As time went on we found out this last March that we were pregnant again and now, we are only six weeks away or possibly sooner to having our first child.

Now we are on our way to being parents, the many doctor visits have been exciting. Seeing our baby for the first time at the ultra sound and finding out she was a girl was a very exciting time and also a relief to see her and know that a baby was growing and all was good. Now we are starting to pack for the hospital get our paperwork in order and figuring out what outfit she is going to wear(apparently for us this is a harder decision than most). We have taken a birth class which I recommend to everyone. If this is your first, take the class and learn. It was very informative and I fill very prepared, well more prepared than I was for this experience.

Names

Whatever you decide to pick for your baby’s name let it be the one that you and your wife both agree on. Now she will get more say, because she went through a lot more work than you did, but pick the one you agree on. Now you don’t need to have one picked before you have the delivery. That’s fine. We have two names picked out (Olivia & Kayla) and we are waiting for her to arrive before we decide. If you have one picked out already great, if not don’t worry. Some family members I know went in with names in mind and came out with something completely different. The point is you decide. If someone else doesn’t like it, oh well! You are the one spending your life with this little one so it should be something that you like. My parents named me Michael and everyone but my parents call me Mike. Once I asked why you don’t call me Mike. They said we named you Michael so we call you Michael. I feel the same way about naming my child. I will have nicknames for her I’m sure. Though the name I pick will be the name I call her. Don’t go with trends and don’t go with some popular athlete or celebrity whom you have never even met, because you are a big fan. If that were the case all my kids would be named Duke, because I’m a huge Duke Basketball fan. It’s not worth it. If the name you like happens to be popular or famous fine. Have your own reasons for the name and back it up if someone else thinks differently.

Those are my thoughts today...