To give you a little background, I and my wife have been married for almost 4 years. This will be our first child and we have been trying for a while. When we first decided to have children we had been a year into our marriage. We wanted to wait a little bit and get to know each other better and enjoy some “alone” time in our younger years. Then we made the decision to start trying. As time went on we were having no luck. Now my wife has a condition called PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) which can make it hard to get pregnant. We started going through the process of seeing a doctor and my wife was put on various types of drugs to help “kick start” her body into have periods regularly and ovulating. As the months went on we were still having no luck. Then we were blessed and the stick said “positive”. We were stoked, our prayers were answered, and the road to being a father had begun. As time went on we started preparing for parenting and thinking of names. We were doing the normal thing to do when expecting. Then sadness hit. We went in at 12 weeks to get our first ultra sound. When the picture came up, there was nothing. All we saw was a big black area, were a baby was suppose to be. Seeing that emptiness is nothing I would wish on anyone, it was a real low time in my life. As we went through the process of a miscarriage, the major thing I learned from that was that many women have miscarriages. We came to understand that this is a common thing. It’s not something that comes up in conversations everyday but it is common. Now it’s not something you want to go through but sometimes your body just doesn’t understand yet what is going on.
We didn’t give up though; we got back into the swing of things and kept trying. Now men, one thing that will help you in communications with your wife is to be positive after a miscarriage. There were many times when my wife felt like we weren’t going to get pregnant. You have to be strong, and be positive for your wife. It was a big help for her knowing that it was not over and that we will get pregnant again. As time went on we found out this last March that we were pregnant again and now, we are only six weeks away or possibly sooner to having our first child.
Now we are on our way to being parents, the many doctor visits have been exciting. Seeing our baby for the first time at the ultra sound and finding out she was a girl was a very exciting time and also a relief to see her and know that a baby was growing and all was good. Now we are starting to pack for the hospital get our paperwork in order and figuring out what outfit she is going to wear(apparently for us this is a harder decision than most). We have taken a birth class which I recommend to everyone. If this is your first, take the class and learn. It was very informative and I fill very prepared, well more prepared than I was for this experience.
Names
Whatever you decide to pick for your baby’s name let it be the one that you and your wife both agree on. Now she will get more say, because she went through a lot more work than you did, but pick the one you agree on. Now you don’t need to have one picked before you have the delivery. That’s fine. We have two names picked out (Olivia & Kayla) and we are waiting for her to arrive before we decide. If you have one picked out already great, if not don’t worry. Some family members I know went in with names in mind and came out with something completely different. The point is you decide. If someone else doesn’t like it, oh well! You are the one spending your life with this little one so it should be something that you like. My parents named me Michael and everyone but my parents call me Mike. Once I asked why you don’t call me Mike. They said we named you Michael so we call you Michael. I feel the same way about naming my child. I will have nicknames for her I’m sure. Though the name I pick will be the name I call her. Don’t go with trends and don’t go with some popular athlete or celebrity whom you have never even met, because you are a big fan. If that were the case all my kids would be named Duke, because I’m a huge Duke Basketball fan. It’s not worth it. If the name you like happens to be popular or famous fine. Have your own reasons for the name and back it up if someone else thinks differently.
Those are my thoughts today...
No comments:
Post a Comment